Do you suffer from chronic pain? Especially in your back? Low on energy? Always feel like you got a case of the Mondays? Can’t stop thinking about Margaret Thatcher? (JUST KIDDING)

I did too until I let an Asian man stick some needles in me and do some weird, massage like thing on my back.

So here’s a quick summary of what happened:

I’ve had pain/pressure on the left side of my back for years. Chiropractors I’ve went to told me that my left side is tense, uneven, hideous, should never be shown in public. They would work on my back and make me go a bajillion times to go see them, do electrolysis, make adjustments, yadda yadda yadda. Never really felt much better. I would always say things like, “Hey! Can’t you just massage or relieve this pressure, like, now? Why do you do these tiny fixes that don’t really do anything? JUST FIX IT ALREADY!!!”  Then they’d give me some crap about my alignment, muscle fatigue, etc…REALLY annoying. Just excuses to make me keep coming back to see them and give them more money. (In my opinion)

Sooooo, a few days ago I could feel this knot and pain building up intensely on my let side again. Right in the middle and lower part of my back. It almost made me gag it hurt so bad at times. “MARY LOU RETTON!” I cried out and vowed to do something at that very moment. So I said to myself, “Dave, you need to get someone to stick some needles right in there and get the bad joob-joob out!”  Then I whipped out my trusty smartphone and looked at Yelp. Lo and behold the #1 rated Acupuncture clinic was just blocks away in Lincoln Square!  I’ve never done acupuncture but I thought what the hell? What do I got to lose? So I called , made an appointment and had an appointment in a half hour.

I went to a room and removed my shirt and laid down on the table, face down. The acupuncturist walks in, took one look at my back and said, “You don’t have to show me where the pain is. I can see it.”  SAAAAY  WHAAAAAATTTT???  He could SEE my pain with his amazing, X-ray eyeballs. And he went right to work at the precise spot! Crazy , huh? Ancient Chinese secret? You bet your sweet ass.

30 minutes later after a bit of some form of Chinese massage (forgot the name) on my back where the pain was, some needles in my back (did not hurt)  and hands and a measly $40 (!!!!) I walked out of there feeling like a new man. I have been pain free for three days and have had more energy than 30 Ryan Seacrests.

These is a very slight pressure where the original pain subsided but it is a 1,000 times less intense. He told me to come back in a week and we can get the rest done. For TWENTY DOLLARS. Good God yaw’ll. This would have taken 8-80 times longer, cost a crap ton more money at a regular chiropractor and may not have worked as effectively.

Moral (and bad pun) of the story:  You should be on pins and needles to go see a trusted acupuncturist for possible pain and energy treatments! It works in my experience! Fill you in on round two soon!

Oh and here is the info of where I went:

Lincoln Square Acupuncture

4720A N Lincoln Ave

Chicago, IL 60625

(773) 878-3888

Neighborhoods: Lincoln Square, Ravenswood