PICK UP SOME OVALTINE, SHE WROTE

SEE DOCTOR FOR HIP X-RAY AND MAMMOGRAM ON FRIDAY, SHE WROTE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDSON! (In a birthday card with a check for $6.00 inside), SHE WROTE

DEAR PENTHOUSE FORUM, YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME  WHEN THE POOL BOY SHOWED UP, SHE WROTE

HELP! I’M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY A VERY LARGE SOMALIAN PIRATE NAMED GABBY, SHE WROTE (in her own blood)

I WROTE IT ALL BITCHES!

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