A few blog entries back I wrote about Ron, a technician i work with at my job. He tells amazing stories about the history of Chicago. I believe 8% of what Ron tells me.  It doesn’t matter though, because he is so unintentionally funny and I absolutely love it.  He really needs his own reality TV show.  Today this little conversation occurred out of nowhere (As usual.)

Ron: “You been riding your bike , David?”

Me: “No. No I haven’t actually. Not at all.”

Ron: “Daaaaaaaaang.  Why not?  You got to stick your butt out to Amanda and start shaking you ass. Then you put the leather on and say ‘Hey baby. Check me out. I’m in a motorcycle gang. I got the psychosis’ ”  {Note: Evidently Ron heard the word ” psychosis” somewhere recently and has incorprated it into his everyday vocabulary at every chance he possibly can}

Me: “What?? No Ron. I have a bicycle. I don’t have a motorcycle.”

Ron: “Ah, I know. I’m just messing with you , ya freak. Hey David. Did I tell you about the time when I was a kid in the ’70s and they had all the motorcycle gangs at Halsted and Diversey? ”

Me: (pushing back my chair to face Ron): “Uh, I don’t think so Ron. I never heard of all that. What went on there?”

Ron: “Oh man David. There were so many motorcycle gangs over there. And that’s Lincoln Park!  It was totally different back then. Yes sir. There were Latino motorcycle gangs, Irish motorcycle gangs, they w-”

Me: “Hold it. Irish motorcycle gangs, Ron?”

Ron: “Yeaaah buddy.”

Me: “Ok, Go on.”

Ron:  “These guys had the psychosis! They were called the uhh…uhh…Feared Henchmen. That was it!  Yes David.  The Henchmen. Big dudes with those long beards and they would put rings in their beards and tie all kinds of things in it.  The girls who rode with them were baaaaad chicks too, man.  They would come up to me and my friend…Oh man, my  friend was Irish too actually!  He had big, green eyes and brown hair BUT his sister had big, blue eyes and red hair!  that was crazy. I don’t know how that happened.  Doesn’t that seem weird, David?”

Me: “Well, not reall-

Ron: (not listening to me) “Those biker chicks would come up to us and (mimics pulling up his shirt)…show us their boobs, David!

Me: “Woah! Cool Ron.”

Ron: (whispers) “I would point at them and go, ‘Titty.’   (laughs)

Me: “Did you ever ride on their bikes Ron?”

Ron: “Hell no! There would be 50-100 bikes every night parked in a row all down Halsted Street.  Every night a different guy flying out of the glass windows up and down the street. No sir, David.  Those were some bad cats, man.  I could take them now though.”

Me: “Oh yeah, Ron?”

Ron: “Yes. Because they are probably almost all so dead. Too much drinking, David. Too many drugs. Too much psychosis.”

Yep Ron.

Too much psychosis…

Ron’s awesome.

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