Tonight I went out for drinks with the people I work with at my job. It made me realize we do it all too seldom.  The reason I say this is because I forget that after spending about 5 minutes talking to Ron, you will realize that Ron has either:

A. A weird, crazy and amazing life.


B. A very good imagination.


I sat across the table at the Mexican restaurant from Ron.  Oh, I guess I should describe Ron.  He’s a heavy-set guy from Puerto Rico.  He has a mustache, middle-aged and going gray. Very, very  nice and personable with the patients.  His accent is definitely there, but not too thick. Likes to call me “A freak”.  As in, whenever I call him on the telephone, the conversation goes like this-

Me: “Hey Ron, it’s me , Dave.”

Ron:  “What’s up, ya freak?”

Sometimes Ron forgets who I am, or that he called me specifically to talk to me, but gets confused.  Keep in mind, I see and talk to Ron for about 2 hours collectively everyday and have for the last 4 plus years.  That’s a lot of time spent talking to someone. But for example, last week, this conversation occurred. (Pretty much 100% word for word.)

My phone rings. I see its Ron calling me and I answer it…

Me: “Yo, Ron. What’s up?”

Ron: “Yeah hello.  Who is this?”

Me: “Ron, its me, Dave. YOU called ME.”

Ron: “Dave. Dave who?”

Me: “Ron!  IT’S DAVE.  You called me on your phone!”

Ron: “Yeah, I know. But who is this?  It is Dave, you are saying?”

Me (loooong sigh): “Yes, Ron. It’s Dave. From our center.”

Ron: “Oh Oh Oh DAAAAVID!  Yeah, what’s up ya freak?”

Me: “Ron, I don’t know. You called me.”

Ron: “Yeah, that’s right David!  Now why did I do that?  (long pause) Oh, yeah. I want to ask about patient…”


So, it’s hard to get mad at Ron because he means no harm and is unintentionally funny.

Anyway, here’s what Ron told me tonight as we dined on delicious Carne Asada and drank colorful Tequila Sunrises.  I’ll skip right to his monologue (?) (for lack of a better word.)  Please note, that this pretty much came out of nowhere.


“Hey David.  You know who I grew up with?  Billy Corgan from the Smashed Pumpkins.  Yes.  That is correct. He grew up on Elston.  Do you know where Elston meets Wellington?  Yeah. Right there.  He lived with his grandma, I think.  I lived down the street.  Yeah buddy, they would always play my favorite song (Ron sings this part while rocking back and forth), The World is a Vampire.” Him and that Chinese guy and that girl would always walk down the alley with their guitars.”


Ron takes a drink and continues on. I haven’t said anything at this point.


“I would hear them play that Vampire song really loud in their garage when they were younger and I would be like, “Yo, Billy that song is nasty.”  He would look at me like I was all crazy and stuff and I would tell him that I meant it was nasty good. Then the other song they played all the time was that 1979 song. I told them that song was going to be like a big hit for them and everything. I heard it on the radio, did you know?”

I ask Ron what Billy was like as a kid.

“Oh man. He was just a quiet little kid. He would talk to me though.  He liked my bike.  I had this Huffy 10-speed but I pimped it all out. I had all this crazy tape on the handlebars!  I let him ride it down the alley one day, but then his grandma or someone came out and said, ‘Billy! Get away from the Latinos,’or some shit like that.”


Ron laughs. I sit there and try hard to memorize everything he just said and how he told it.  Like I often do when he tells stories.  Right now, I am wishing I would have written down the story about the one time Ron told me he watched them film the movie Child’s Play and saw them throw Chucky out the window.

Man, that was a good story.

I realize Ron may indeed be exaggerating his wonderful Billy Corgan and the Smashed Pumpkins story. I’m pretty sure they didn’t play the two songs Ron referenced when they were young teenagers or that he ever rode Ron’s bike.


But, I sure like to listen to him tell me about it.


"Thanks Ron for the bike ride and encouragement."