Well, I broke down and rented a jackhammer at Home Depot. Then I spent the better part of the afternoon trying not to kill myself.

I knew I was in trouble when I said to the Home Depot guy who checked me out at the rental center, “So, this thing weighs about what, 40 pounds?”

His answer, “Yeah, right.  Try 70. Oh and make sure you don’t, ya know, get your foot caught under it cause that’d be the end of your foot.”

Awesome.

I pictured myself at Swedish Hospital Emergency Room later today really sad because I pulverized my beautiful feet.

I barely could lift the stupid thing in my car.

Then when I got home and fired it up, I didn’t put the spike in properly and got it jammed in the first hunk of concrete I jackhammered.  So i spent the next 10 minutes getting it out with a sledgehammer.  Stupid.

Operating it made me feel funny.  It vibrates and moves around like crazy and reminded me of those old school pictures/videos of people back in the day who thought that they could lose weight by wearing a belt around them and get jiggled around.  Also, it’s very tiring.  I have mad respect for jackhammer operators now.

Here’s a count of what happened to my body parts while operating the jackhammer:

Number of times jackhammer fell on my foot: 1

Number of times I struck myself in genitals with jackhammer handle- lost track after 20.

Number of times concrete chunks hit me in the eye (thank God for goggles!)- 5

But after 4 hours, I finished most of the patio!  YEaaaAAAHHHHhhhh!  Now I just gotta figure out what to do with all the broken up concrete.

Dante was of no help today. He kept whistling at the hot girls who walked by.  Classic gnome behavior.  Here is a pic of him on the job again.  Doin’ nuthin’.

Silly gnome

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