Oh mighty Olympic games!

how you reminded me of so many

failed college romantic relationships of my past

those relationships too

started off with a great passion

burning like an Olympic torch

followed by intense


episodes of exciting activities wearing spandex

Only to have the dreams

of glory and love

crushed by Koreans

and eventually my torch too

is extinguished

fare thee well Olympians

lay your gentle heads down to sleep

for four more years.

four more years…

Are your pantyhose supposed to go over your ice skates?

That would explain why he was so fast. He's full of gas! Get it?!?! Get it?!?