Good morning class!

Is there anything more exciting than having a single piece of blank paper sitting in front of you? Why, the possibilities of what to put on that piece of paper sitting in front of you are nearly endless! ENDLESS.

Do you feel like writing a short story about the American Civil War and how the greatest unsung hero of the Southern army was first lieutenant Cleetus Muttingham? Who, during a magnificent, bloody battle in Charleston, South Carolina killed 83 Yankee soldiers with his pistol all the while dancing what would much later be dubbed “The Charleston.” NOTE: (He would later go on to marry a popular field nurse of the day named Lindy Hop and own several fake unicorn farms in eastern Tennessee.)

Well? What are you waiting for?!? Don’t let anyone stop you or tell you that you can’t write about that! This piece of paper is yours to do with it what YOU want. EXCITING.

Maybe you prefer to write about hobos and how you want to tell people you are secretly attracted to some of them but you are afraid of being labeled a hobosexual. With the power of pen and paper you can make lengthy and valid points about your feelings!! No longer will people find you strange or a social outcast! SPLENDID.

But wait, there’s more! You can also draw a picture of absolutely ANYTHING you want on a blank piece of paper too! Words can be boring and dumb. See 3 paragraphs above for a fresh example or W. Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. HA! I kid with you now.

One time a student said to me that he couldn’t think of anything at all to draw and I looked at him right in his good eye and told him, “Look little Johnnycakes, just draw your dreams. Draw your dreams.” And you know what? He did! He drew a glorious picture of an astronaut fighting off a horde of giant bees attacking the planet Earth and called it “Nathan Lane Saves Us All.”  NATHAN LANE.

So my point is this class;  a single piece of blank paper is what the Constitution is written all and that turned out pretty nicely.

A single piece of blank paper is what the Magna Carta might be written on, if I knew exactly what the Magna Carta was and about how long it is.

A single piece of blank paper is what Moses wrote down the Ten Commandments on originally before he put them on, get this… stone tablets. WACKY.

A single piece of paper is a truly wonderful thing.

Class Dismissed!

PROFESSOR DAVE OUT!!!

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